It’s been two weeks now since my truck has gone in the shop and I’ve been carless. I have used my bicycle for the majority of my transportation needs the last few years, so it’s nothing new to me to get around on two wheels. The real difference now is that I HAVE to either walk or use my bicycle to get to where I want to go and to run errands like grocery shopping. I may not be able to get up to speed like I would in my truck, but I get where I need to go.

Really, it’s less stressful than driving a car, especially when I get to use cycling/pedestrian paths that are totally separated from motorized traffic. Well most of the time. I recently had an encounter with a couple of women walkers who were right in the middle of the path instead of the side of the path they were supposed to be on, which is clearly marked. When I signaled to them that I was coming up behind them and then passed them, one of them yelled at me like she controlled and ruled supremely over the path and told me I was in the wrong.

I kept going, it made me angry, I’ll admit. I really started thinking about the encounter and how great the rest of the ride had been except for this one encounter. This one moment was beginning to ruin all the good ones that came before that. I made myself calm down and start to shrug off what happened because one bad thing should not spoil 100 good ones. It made me contemplate, what is it about the culture we live in that will make us cling to one dramatic bad thing but not allow us to embrace the multitude of good things around us? I am still working on a definitive answer to that, but remember next time when something similar happens to you, you don’t have to focus on that one bad thing. Pick your head up and look around you at all the great things that surround us everyday, pick one of them, no matter how great or small, and focus on that instead. Remember it is you who must make that positive change in your life, not someone else.

Until next time my valued readers, no matter what comes your way, don’t let anybody hold you down, especially yourself.

It’s finally happened. I have to trade in my trusty truck for my trusty bike. For a little while anyway. I have been having problems with a cylinder misfire on my truck, and after trying several do it myself repairs I had to take it to the shop to get the problem diagnosed. The prognosis? Serious internal engine damage in the number two cylinder. Kinda funny when you think about it.

I have been without my truck for eight days and am in no hurry to get it back. My bike takes me most places I have to go. Work, grocery store, trivia night,  almost anywhere really. I have even managed to get in a rafting trip without it. I’m staying in great shape and racking up the miles!

I guess one not so great thing is getting a date when I don’t have a way to pick said date up, especially since I don’t look like this guy quite yet.

That and I was really making some headway into paying off the one credit card I have. I found out recently that my credit score is 100 points above the national average, something not many of us can say these days. It may take a serious hit though since I will be pretty much maxing the card back out to pay for the repair work. I considered just selling the truck and going carless, but it’s nice to have it for the rafting trips and heading out to the trail heads when there are time constraints. Plus I REALLY like my truck.

I will utilize the resolve and strategy I have been using to get my debt back down, namely paying off everything I spend and a bit more every time I charge something. I have also been looking at all the crap I've accumulated and ask myself, ’do I really  need this?’, the answer seems to be increasingly, ’no’.  I've been asking myself the same question every time I see some neat little gizmo or doodad I think it might be awesome to own. I realize that the money I spend on something new could instead go to pay off more of my debt or fund a future trip. If I don’t think I need it I won’t get it. The only exception to this has been going to see a movie a couple times a month and dinner out about three times a month. Again though, I pay those off and a little extra within twenty four hours. Alas, even my trusty bicycle has needed $80 in repair in the last week. I had to replace the front tire and front derailleur. A paltry amount though compared to what the truck will end up costing me. Even though I will be pockets turned out broke for a while,

 I won’t let this time of great repair and setback hold me down, I will emerge stronger and triumphant!

 Until next time, remember to believe in yourself even if no one else does!

     For over nine years I worked two part time jobs, just barely making ends meet. One of these jobs I had been working at for roughly half my life. It was this job I recently quit. It was really a dead end job that barley paid more than minimum wage and didn't help my self esteem at all. Why did I stay so long? Sometimes you get comfortable in a place and it’s easier to stay than to move on to something else, even though it might be for the better. What finally changed? I did. My courage and confidence grew enough to walk away and not be afraid of what would happen in new territories. My sense of self worth made me realize that I deserve better than mediocrity. I am still at my other job, now my only one, and on a path I should have set foot on years ago and doing better than I have ever done, learning many lessons. Finally getting outside of my comfort zone has brought me the knowledge that I can achieve what I want with patience and perseverance, my potential for growth is enormous, and no one is responsible for me or my happiness except for me. My life is more in balance with who I really am and continue to become. At the old job I let the negativity of that place get to me and gnaw at my essence, I was depressed and stressed out all the time, I learned that you really do have to be careful with who you surround yourself with and be aware of how the moods of others can affect you.

I crawled out of that place I was in and now see things much more differently. This change in perspective helped when an ex-girlfriend who had hurt me badly years before came back into my life right after I quit the second job. She kept telling me she just wanted to be friends but I could tell she really wanted more. I did talk with her for a couple of weeks but when I told her I didn't think it was a good idea to keep in touch she snapped on me and I could tell she was still the same person as before. As they say in Germany, ‘auf wiedersehen hundin!’

As much progress as I am making though, I do have setbacks occasionally, including taking my truck into the shop to have the motor replaced.

 I will be going car-less while this is taking place, but when I get it back…

Next time- working on my debt and the further adventures of not having an automobile.

     It was the first day of a 3 day backpacking trip. Nick and I were meeting our friends the Commander and Jesse at the Bear Valley trail head. This was the Commander’s  first backpacking trip, you can read more about her awkward experiences on her blog. I tweaked my back somehow the day before but was determined to continue with the trip. Besides I was psyched, I had been feeling a little wound up the last few weeks and needed a break. We were spending the first night at Sky camp, a 4.5 mile hike from the trail head. Along the way we spotted a banana slug, something the Commander had never seen before. This little creature that resembles a slimy snot covered flaccid penis surprised her.

 It was warmer than we expected when we got to camp, but the Commander and I both crashed in our respective tents despite the fact the heat turned them into saunas.

 We bummed around camp for awhile, when seemingly out of nowhere Nick shows up with a bag of charcoal he pillaged from another camp. Hmmmm…grilled banana slugs anyone?

Day two found me wishing I had brought oatmeal instead of freeze dried backpacking food, which I was quickly getting tired of.  We decided to take the round about way to our next destination, Glen camp. We dropped down to the coast and took a break at Sculptured beach, an amazing little spot with a few small sea caves and tide pools. 

My back was feeling better but Nick had pulled a muscle and the Commander was feeling beat and we still had about six miles to go. I gave her the bailout option, but she chose to see this through, a decision I am incredibly proud of her for making. It got me thinking about my own choices I have made in my life and how in the past I have bailed on trips way too early. Not anymore, I told myself. Over the past year I have been growing a lot and have gained an immense amount of confidence which has enabled me to get outside of my comfort zone and stick with my decisions. We continued on, eventually reaching camp after a ten mile hike. The Commander saw signs along the way that indicated there was a much shorter route we could have taken, so I took care to keep my crotch away from her foot.

 Our site for the second night was overgrown with foliage and grasses and the bugs swarmed, but the sounds of the frogs and birds in the surrounding woods was amazing. They lulled me to sleep until in the middle of the night I heard the sounds of what I call the murder birds. It really sounds like they are killing someone in a bloody crack induced rage. The third day found us with a 4.6 mile hike back to the trail head. Jesse and I set the lead pace with the Commander and Nick bringing up the rear. It was great to finally be able to spend time with my friends for a few days and finally getting the Commander out in the wild. So what’s the next adventure? LIFE! And a rafting trip.

Some stuff I've learned recently:

Grow a pair and just ask if you're not sure about something, it doesn't matter if it's the correct way to do something, finding out if someone likes you or will go out with you, a no is better than not knowing. This isn't high school, the time for being timid is over. Ask questions, it's how we learn! Would people have ever gone to the moon if someone didn't ask the question, 'how do we get there?'. You may just learn something awesome.

I have grown so much over this last year and am realizing how deserving I am of happiness, but I also know I have to work for it, no one is going to just hand to me.  Part of this work is making the decisions that are best for me, not someone else. This also means I have to be *gasp* RESPONSIBLE! Financially, professionally, personally, mentally and physically RESPONSIBLE.

The people that rejected you in the past aren't part of your present and most likely won't be part of your future. Don't be upset with them and what they may have done to you. Learn from the experience, don't repeat the same mistakes, move on, and be a better person. This will most likely piss them off more than anything you could have done to them anyway and is therefore the best revenge.

I want the brutal honest truth, because really there is no other kind of truth. Seriously, 100% honesty.

If you want to tell me something, tell me, I promise you that you probably won't say one of the three things that might offend me.