Turkey day has come and gone, and I had a pretty good one. A short mountain bike ride in the morning on some of the local trails, including a go through the infamous puddle known as Sloppy Jalopy. Sloppy isn't filled quite yet but does have some water in it, thanks to the much needed recent rain. In the afternoon I began to prepare the Thanksgiving meal: Stuffaronis. For those of you who have never heard of this dish, it's manicotti shells stuffed with a mix of ground beef (or in this case turkey), spinach, eggs, breadcrumbs, and onions. They're pretty good and they are my most recent foray in my exploration of cooking. While they baked I went for a 5K run. Shortly after I got back from my run the food was done. The sauce I chose, a mushroom red sauce, added to the deliciousness. One of the best things about this years Thanksgiving was that the only person in my family I had to see was my grandmother. The rest of my family I don't care for and, honestly, if I never saw them again I would be okay. Throughout the day I asked myself what I am thankful for. The top of my list continues to be my best friends, who know more about me than they probably want to, but still accept me for who I am. They have been with me on some of my best and craziest adventures.

      I have been contemplating my life at home a lot lately. Now that my grandmother has come back to my apartment I have realized that while she was gone I was a lot happier. I was more confident as well, and less stressed. Now that she is back it's almost like I can't get a break. It seems I am always responsible for helping someone. At least at I work I get paid to take care of peoples needs. At home it seems I have to do five other things first before I can do the one thing I really want to do. I do care about my grandmother a lot, but I need to have my own life. It seems she is determined though that I am the one that has to take care of her. My no good aunt and cousin have finally started to help more, and even offered to let my grandmother move in with them, but she doesn't want to. And she doesn't want to go back to a nursing home either. It seems she has apron strings that have become a noose. I keep telling myself she probably only has a few months left, but what if it's longer? And besides, haven't I done enough? Of course if I express this feeling to anyone they attempt to guilt trip me. I want to have my own life though, to actually be able to date someone and bring them back to my place and not have to explain why my grandmother is at my house, or stop the date because my grandmother is choking on food again. And she also has a difficult time getting rid of things, the house gets cluttered with shit she thinks she needs, including bills and bank statements dating back as far as twenty years ago. I've been stressed enough lately that I've had a couple Tourettes episodes. Then there's my family thinking I have money to help them out. I have determined they are either high or out of their minds.

      Running and cycling has helped to keep me sane. I've had to don the rain gear lately, but I've got to keep getting out there.

Until next time readers,